Once your children grow up and leave home, you will understand how difficult it is to be separated from your loved ones, and you will start to understand how your foreign domestic worker feels, a columnist has written in a Hong Kong paper.
The columnist, who writes on parenting issues, shared her recent experience in Headline Daily about how she felt after her daughter went overseas for studies.
She advised readers to put themselves in their maid’s shoes so that the employer-employee relationship would have a new perspective.
She said her Filipino maid, who had been working for her for six years, suddenly requested a one-month holiday. She agreed to the request without any hesitation because she knew the reason had to do with the maid’s son back in the Philippines.
The domestic worker, who is a widow and also needs to support her parents and brothers, had learned that her son had been skipping school frequently. It made her very worried and she wanted to talk to him in person and solve the problem.
The writer said her domestic worker, like many others in Hong Kong, was not a very good cook, liked loafing and was sometimes bad-tempered, but she was honest and took care of her employer’s daughter very well.
Only able to communicate with her son by phone, instead of taking care of him in person if he is sad or gets sick, is understandably very hard on the maid, the columnist said.
But, she wondered, how many employers in Hong Kong show any empathy for their domestic workers?
The columnist said she knew of a person who lived in a thousand-square-foot apartment but only provided a foldable wooden board, placed above a washing machine in a storage room, for the domestic worker to sleep on.
That domestic worker doesn’t have her own chair, and she is not allowed to sit on her employer’s sofa or a dining-room chair. She must stand when she has her dinner.
The columnist said she would never forget how the maid looked surprised but appreciative when her employer’s friends gave her food during a gathering.
The writer advised employers to try to put themselves in the maid’s shoes, show understanding and care, in order to build a good employment relationship.
Very thankfull maam of being considerate employer to understand the situation of domestic helper,,hoping that more employers to be like you..Godbless
Very well said sir! The most important is the good relationship between the helper and the employers!
Wow….this tribute really touches my heart… i really hope that some employers could also read this…God Bless us all…
thank you mam/sir for your heartfelt sympathy..we sacrifice the times and chance to be with our family especially for our children to take care of somebody’s children but eventhough this is our everyday battle we still try our best to work and love the children of our employers as our own in able to lessen the missing piece of our heart, our children at home
yes that’s true
Dear Sir/ Ma’am of Asia Times Staff. Thank you so much for posting this articles.Your kindness and understanding to all Overseas Workers should always be remembered. God bless you more and the whole staff of Asia Times.
Thanks for this good message.
Excellent Point Madam!????????????????????
Sana mabasa to ng former employer ko Noong 2004 na si ms. Kwan jan sa northpoint. Pero tiniis ko na matapos ko ang 2years contract ko. Nag umpisa akong mag work sa kanya na may timbang ng 52 kilos.
At bumaba ako pag katapos ng contract sa kanya na ang timbAng ko ay 43 kilos nalang. Dahil ayaw mag patulog, limited ang pag kain.kahit inom tubig titingnan ka sa ng nanay nya.sino bang Hindi mangangayat sa kamay nila na Bigyan ka lang ng apat na Chinese spoon na rice.at yung dalawang piraso na choi sam at gunting guntigin pa yan na parang Marami tingnan, at Yung steam fish na sa may bandang tiyan na puro naman tinik na ayaw din nilang kainin. At yun ang ibigay sa akin.bawal kang bumili ng prutas. Bigyan ka nalang ng prutas pag bulok na yung prutas nila. Tag ala dos ng madaling araw makaligo. Dahil bawal kang maligo pag di pa sila makapag shower sa gabi. Kaya antay ka ng hating gabi kasi manonood muna sila ng tv. bago mag shower. Pagkatapos nila shower Saka pa ako maka pasok sa bathroom at maglaba muna ng mga damit ng Bata kasi ayaw nila ipa washing machine Saka kana mag shower pag Tapos ka ng maglaba. At di pa jan nag tatapos ang kalbaryo dahil mag antay ka pa kung Kailan sila matapos manood ng tv kasi wala akong kwarto sa sala lang ako natutulog. Kaya dun muna ako sa kusina mag antay. Dalawang beses bumigay ang katawan ko sa Pagod at nahimatay ako sa kusina. Ang masaklap habang nakabulagta ako sa sahig ng kusina hinahakbangan lang ako ng babae kung amo inantay kung kailan ako magigising. Mga walang puso talaga.ng nagkamalay na ako pinapatulog na ako sa sala. Pero bukas parin ang tv dahil nanood pa rin sila. Eh Paano ka makatulog? Naririnig mo ang ingay ng tv.
Kaya dahil sa over fatigue na katawan ko Kaya lingo lingo na akong nagpapadoktor , dahil nagkakasakit na ako lagi. Pero kahit may sakit ka wala silang consideration pinapatrabaho ka parin.
Pero tiniis ko langthe dahil may new born baby sila at naawa ako sa baby dahil ayaw ng bata na mawala ako sa tabi nya.
Kung wala lang baby ang mga amo na yun, iiwanan ko talaga sila. Tiniis ko lang talaga na tapusin ang 2 years contract dahil sa baby. Pero nagmamakaawa parin sila Noong ayaw ko ng magrenew.
Pero inalisan ko na talaga sila. At yung Pinay na pumalit wala pang isang linggo gusto ng mag resign. Dahil tumawag si ama sa akin. Di daw Kaya ng bagong helper. Kaya kinausap ko ang Pinay na tiisin nya at mag apply sya ng Canada. Madali lang sya maka pag Canada lalo na pag may baby syang alaga. Noong 3 months na sya sa amo tinuruan ko na sya mag apply para magpa Canada. At sa awa ng Dios after seven months. Dumating ang visa nya at masaya na sya na wala na sya dun sa kalbaryong buhay nya jan sa Northpoint.
At sa awa ng Dios Canadian citizen na siya.????☺???????????? Ganun lang talaga buhay pag may tiyaga may gantimpala????????????????????
You’re such a good boss, good job sir/ mam
There are bad and good people everywhere. There are a lot of bad and good employers too in Hongkong and other countries, and it follows that there are bad and good Pilipino DOH’s too. Some good DOH’s are lucky to find good employers. These DOH’s sometimes have served the same family for more than 20 years, often times in the service of two generations or even three. Imagine raising a baby and then working for him/her while raising his/her son/daughter too? I have cousins and friends in Hongkong who have done and are still doing this.
????????????❤❤❤thank you so much maam/sir
Wooooohhhhhh a big big thumbs up and salute to this writer who thinks like….may our Lord God bless u more and u may encourage all ur friends to be as u….. Thank you so much…:-)
That’s one thing some employer here don’t have the empathy we don’t need special treatment but humane treatment were human don’t have always a good day they have to understand that…not just thinking they’re the only one has the right to have a bad day.
I would like to say ThankYou to the columnist and also would like to say ThankYou to my Employer for treatin me #Well I’ve been with them for 24 years my ward is a grown up lady now I took care of her for 24 years.
Wow that’s really touching, thanks you. Will hoping and praying that they well do the same. But fortunately it’s not happening in most of house hold . 1 in 100 perhaps.im 1 of the luckiest, cause I have a good employer.I think pls spread the msg to all your friend ang colleagues. Thank you and God bless you.
Tama
I salute you ma’am how I wish more employers to be like you.
18 years in HK with the same employer…..No need to say anything..
Thank you Sir/ma’am for understanding how difficult our situation us domestic helper.
Would employers in Hongkong be change through this perspective of a columnists? Hopefully this will change some. We maids are not begging to treat us like a family but rather treat us like an employee who deserves respect and given the appropriate needs as we serve you.